Seperation Anxiety and it is Breaking My Heart

I’m not even really sure what is wrong. 

We’ve been starting our days fine. The normal routine of things.  He’s been asking to take showers and dry his hair with the hairdryer every morning.  He is imitating me.  Even going so far as to pretend to use the curling iron. 

But when we get to school, he gets very quiet and very sad.  He puts on a brave face by looking down and hiding under his hat.  His eyes get wide and he fakes a smile.  He looks like he is going to erupt into tears at any second. 

He asks to go to the bathroom.  He cries there. 

He can’t tell me why he is sad. 

Is it a bully?
Is someone being mean to him?
Is he not feeling well?
Does he not like a teacher he is working with?
Is he just having some separation anxiety?
Is he upset because he is not in control?

I don’t know what the answer is.  No one seems to be able to get an answer out of him. 

But I can’t keep leaving him like this. 

It is breaking my heart.

And yet, once he gets on with his day, he is fine again. 

Something is going on.  I don’t like it. 

I’ve been dropping him off at various activities and schools since he was two.  Why now, in first grade is he having such problems?

And he knows it makes me sad.   He says he wants to do better.  We started a points chart to reinforce him. 

I don’t know if it will work.  We just need to move past this phase.  And hope that is there really is something wrong, he can tell me. 

Eve of a New School Year

You start a new school year tomorrow, buddy.

You did great last year in Kindergarten.  You had some amazing teachers and supporters.  You made people melt with your smile and personality.  You showed others what a sweet and loving boy you are.
This summer was challenging, but you overcame.  New routines, old therapists leaving our team, T-Ball, tornado warnings, new jobs, a new found love of fuse beads, legos, legos and more legos!  And you were such a good and brave boy when we went to say good-bye to Grandpa Jim.

You are silly, funny, hilarious and fun-loving.  I hope this is something you never loose.

As a rainbow shines over your elementary school the day before school starts (literally), my wish for you is you continue being you.... my silly, wonderful, smiley boy.

Have a great first day at first grade!  So excited for a wonderful year!